“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 5:3

Most of us want to be independent, resourceful, and resilient. We prefer to be the ones who help others, rather than need help ourselves. When Jesus says happy and to be congratulated are those who find it hard to make life work sometimes, it all sounds counter-intuitive. And that’s true – so much of what Jesus teaches goes against what we think is usually the case.

Interestingly, the words of Jesus in Luke are not so much about those who are “poor in spirit,” and struggling with guilt, or feeling inadequate, or anxious about problems too hard to solve, or low in spirits. Luke’s Beatitude says “Blessed are you who are poor,” and by that he means those who don’t have enough money or enough to eat. But that lack of material security also causes poverty in spirit, anxiety about tomorrow, feelings of injustice and just the struggle to keep hoping.

One way or another, we’ve all been in places and times when our own resources are not enough. We may even feel that blessing has passed us by, God’s interests are elsewhere. Jesus’ words make a promise. When we are at our lowest, God is there, in strength, in grace, and in the power of a love that understands those deep longings we all have, for life to be fruitful, and for hope to pull us forward.

“For theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” is not a promise of something better, sometime; both Matthew and Luke promise that when we are at our lowest, ours is the Kingdom of heaven. Like treasure discovered in a field, God will not leave us bankrupt. Like seed growing on good ground, fruit will grow out of our lives; like a mustard seed growing into a tree that shelters the birds, so is our faith - and so is God’s kingdom in our hearts.

Blessed are the poor in Spirit… When we reach the place where we run out of resources, ideas, and solutions, we never run out of God’s love for us, or God’s grace to help us. The kingdom of heaven is that place in our lives where we trust God to care for us no matter what. And no matter what, He does…for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
 
Grace and peace,
Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation

A kind of weariness has caught up with me this week. (I am on a few days of much-needed vacation). In many ways my life has been nonstop engagement and adaptation since mid-March. Four months later my corner of the world has adapted to the limitations of pandemic. My patients and our congregation I serve are all on Zoom, all the time with the understanding that we will not gather in person again until it is safe for every one of us. This week it has finally hit me, though. Now in these quieter days of summer there is time for me to feel the feelings for myself. Over and over again, I have told people to be gentle with themselves because pandemic magnifies our vulnerabilities. Time to heed my own words.

I read Jacob’s words in Genesis, “Surely, the Lord is in this place – and I did not know it!” and realize I could say nearly the same thing. Yes, God is in this place, this time of pandemic. I know this is true, and yet, I often forget the power of this truth. Those angels ascending and descending in Jacob’s dream are a lovely metaphor for God’s continued work in the world. God moves through the world, through us, in ways we seldom grasp in the moment. Our failure to notice God does not negate God’s presence, God’s works of love.

Too many of us are simply waiting for pandemic to be over. Too many are already acting as if COVID-19 is not real and poses no threat. Too many of us are not considering how our actions might affect others. We are so desperate to “return to normal” that we are not attending to what God might be asking of us in this very moment. Yes, it’s hard to be without direct human contact. Yes, it’s hard to avoid crowds. Yes, it’s hard to be without a variety of things we have taken for granted. And it is harder for those who don’t have the option of working from home, those who rely on public transportation, those who work in healthcare, and teachers being asked to go back into classrooms, and many others who cannot distance themselves from others due to circumstances. The reality is that pandemic is hard for all of us in different ways. Pretending that everything is “normal” also gets in the way of recognizing the movement of the Spirit.
 
Psalm 139 reminds us that there is no place we can go where God is not already there. Even in pandemic, God is with us, waiting for us to notice. Right now, God is sowing seeds of goodness, grace, love, forgiveness – seeds of the Kingdom – throughout the world and among us. We know there are those who sow seeds of fear, hatred, division, and violence. Our focus ought to be nurturing the seeds of God’s realm, making sure these seeds grow and bear fruit. While we cannot necessarily remove the other things, we can choose not to nurture them, not to strengthen them, not to let them grow in our lives or in our communities. We don’t need to worry about saving souls; God has that covered. We need to focus on saving lives. We need to do everything in our power to prevent the worsening of this pandemic – everything from adhering to the basics such as wearing a mask and physically distancing to the more complicated decisions of how and when to safely meet in person. In addition, we can fiercely advocate for those who often go unheard and unseen and devalued by those with decision-making power. And we can choose to stop making judgments about how other people are coping with pandemic; most people do the best they can with what they have.
 
Surely, God is in this with us! Even in the moments when we forget or fail to notice, God is present and moving in the world. May we trust God’s presence enough to act with loving-kindness toward ourselves, our neighbors, and the whole of Creation.
 
Grace and peace,
Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation

Skillful Savior, as you build your church from the entire human race, you gather in sinful, broken people who long for your Kingdom. You take us as individuals and build us into so much more than we could ever be on our own—a spiritual house, a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. May your beautiful church flourish everywhere!

Grace and peace,

Anita Sorenson

Pastor for Spiritual Formation

In Luke 5, Jesus directed Simon Peter to go out “for a catch” at a time when they all knew was not a good time to catch fish. Peter and the other fishermen had been up all night without catching anything and just wanted to go home. They were washing their nets because they were done working for the day. They were tired, stinky and hungry. But Jesus didn’t tell Peter, okay, it’s fine, we’ll go out another time when it’s a better time of day, when you have regained your strength. No, Jesus wanted them to go out midday, in the hot sun, when fish aren’t biting because they are way down deep in the waters. Jesus told Peter to go out into the deep waters and let their nets down there. Jesus wanted them to go way out in the deep because there is where they could catch the most fish. There is where the miracles happen, in the deep waters, far away from the comforts of the shore. 

 Peter didn’t want to do it, but he obeyed because Jesus asked him to. Peter replied to Jesus, “because you say so, I will do it.” And boy was he glad that he did. They let down their nets in those deep waters and caught so many fish that their nets were breaking! They needed their other partners, the other fishermen close by to help them bring in the abundance of fish, so many fish that their nets were breaking too. They were all witnessing this miracle right in front of their eyes. Afterwards, Peter fell to his knees in front of Jesus to confess that he hadn’t really believed Jesus could do this miracle for them. But Jesus, full of grace, mercy and compassion told Peter, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” 

 In this pandemic, are we afraid to step out into any calling or assignment God has for us? Are we willing to leave some things behind to follow Jesus? Have we been asked to do something that we do not understand and do not feel equipped to do in your own strength? We may all feel tired or stinky or hungry. We cannot imagine doing one more thing, letting down one more net. Let’s confess those things to the Lord and ask Him to give us faith that believes in things not seen. Let’s pray and ask for His supernatural strength to accomplish things we cannot do in our own strength. Let’s ask God to help our unbelief as we rely on Him and His word to “let down our nets” for this next season of ministry while we are not gathered on the church campus. Do we trust Him for another catch and can we watch Him do abundantly more than we could have ever dreamed or hoped for?

 Because you say so, Jesus, we will listen. Jesus calls each of us, where we are, in whatever situation we find ourselves, and he invites us to use our entire being to bring hope and healing into the world. For some it’s letting go of insecurity and doubt, for others it’s letting go of ego, and for others it’s trusting their own voice to speak up for others. Because you say so, Jesus…

Grace and peace,

Anita Sorenson

Pastor for Spiritual Formation

A while back I read a quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer that has become the basis for my prayers lately. Bonhoeffer said,

"May God in His mercy lead us through these times; but above all, may He lead us to Himself."
 
Times like these can test us. They can test the depths of our faith and may force us to ask deep questions about our walk with Christ. Has fear of the virus or the economic changes it has brought caused fear to shake our trust in Jesus? Or have you been surprised to find your faith is greater than you had previously thought; that the years of time in God's Word and prayer, of faithfully walking with Him day-by-day have resulted in a foundation of trust that is not being shaken? Or maybe you're somewhere in between. As Bonhoeffer said, we can make a choice at any point in life to ask God to "lead us to Himself" and filter how we see life and our current circumstances through His lens of faith. 
 
How about you? Where are you at right now? We are all at different phases in our spiritual journey and in our life situations, and it's fine wherever you're at.

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
 
Grace and peace,
Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
 
How can we be joyful in a moment like this? Ross Gay responds “How can we not?” Poet, writer, community gardener (Bloomington community orchard), professor of English at Indiana University, he trains his gaze to see the wonderful alongside the terrible, attends to and meditates on what he loves, even in the midst of difficult realities and as a part of working for justice. I have recently been reading Gay’s The Book of Delights, his marvelous volume of essays written daily over the course of a difficult year. He writes as a bi-racial man, attuned to the complexity of living in America, calling for joy and inviting his readers to NOTICE, to practice, to think and write about delight every day: 
 
“It didn’t take me long to learn that the discipline or practice of writing these essays occasioned a kind of delight radar. Or maybe it was more like the development of a delight muscle. Something that implies that the more you study delight, the more delight there is to study. A month or two into this project delights were calling to me: Write about me! Write about me! Because it is rude not to acknowledge your delights, I’d tell that that though they might not become essayettes, they were still important, and I was grateful to them. Which is to say, I felt my life to be more full of delight. Not without sorrow or fear or pain or loss. But more full of delight. I also learned this year that my delight grows—much like love and joy—when I share it.”
 
As far as I know, Ross Gay is not a follower of Jesus but his exhortation to cultivate delight is very much in line with the Psalmist David’s “Take delight in the Lord”, an answer to the problem of what is to become of evil and evildoers. Focus on the ways that God is visible and revealed in this world, risk delight in the face of the hard things before us. And God will be found. And the Kingdom will come on earth, as it is in heaven. 

Grace and peace,
Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation

"A waiting person is a patient person. The word “patience” means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us. Impatient people are always expecting the real thing to happen somewhere else and therefore want to go elsewhere. The moment is empty. But patient people dare to stay where they are. Patient living means to live actively in the present and wait there. Waiting, then, is not passive. It involves nurturing the moment, as a mother nurtures the child that is growing in her womb." Henri Nouwen, The Path of Waiting

How are you doing with hope? Are you able to patiently keep believing that underneath all of what is roiling our broken world are the steadfast promises and forward-moving Kingdom of God? It is challenging to ‘nurture the moment’ when the crises of anti-blackness and police brutality, immigration and civil rights are filling our every screen. Let's think of this waiting and hoping as a mental and spiritual positioning within the big world filled with pain, suffering, joy and beauty of which we're a part, even as we are staying in place. I join you in seeking patience, even as we take actions that the Spirit is prompting to live out the gospel in its fullness!

Grace and peace,

Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation

Are you seeing the photos of the amazing sourdough starters people are concocting, reading proclamations of folks taking up new hobbies, renovating rooms and backyards, adopting puppies, successfully purging every closet and storage bin and offering these accomplishments up for affirmation and envy on social media? Good job everyone, but for some people, just getting through each day is enough.

How about we give everybody a break?

This is hard. To live with continuous uncertainty about what is next, to make daily adaptations that make it possible to work from home and not lose heart. It is hard to meet all of your kids changing needs, help them to bear all of the losses in this time of sheltering and have the resilience to survive their frustrations and meltdowns. You don’t have to be good at living in a pandemic, at least not every day. You can have horrible days where everyone goes to their room to be on their screens and you chuck lunch in there because you are all done seeing each other. You can reach the end of your patience and reboot over and over again because that’s what it takes to live such a disrupted, unnatural life.  

Maybe this great pause isn’t an opportunity to be productive, but rather an opportunity to ask ourselves why we think our self-worth is tied to production. Maybe we finally learn how to be with ourselves. Maybe each of us learning to be a little kinder to our own selves and each other, to be a little more patient, to be a little more generous would change the world way more than one person being hyper-productive. This inner work is hard. It is painful, and it is going to take time and right now we have that. We just keep keeping on the best we can and don’t give up, like practicing an instrument or a dance or a skill.

And maybe somedays are pajama days. Maybe somedays are cry and yell and then apologize and try again days. We don’t have to be good at this. I am not even sure we have to try to be good at this every day. Take a lot of naps. Do nothing. Brag about that. No one is good at this, we are all just practicing. This is ordinary discipleship—living each day in front of and in conversation with a loving God who will supply what we need to just practice being faithful and gracious. That is enough.

Grace and peace,

Anita Sorenson

Pastor for Spiritual Formation

Here we are again, in the long stretch of Ordinary Time in the church calendar, with all the big holidays and celebrations over. The first half of the Christian year, ranging from Advent to Pentecost was devoted to tracing the grand arc of God’s saving action in Jesus Christ. Now we are in the everyday stretch where we have space to find our place in God’s story. 
 
And we are in a pandemic, a global pause to shelter-in-place and face into our fragility and vulnerability. Our cities are filled with traumatic distress, protests and marches that erupt into violent confrontations. Is this a moment that will lead to transformative change? 
 
This is a time for listening, for practicing empathy as Pastor Steve exhorted us Wednesday. And it is a time for listening to the history of God’s people who prayed to and contended with their God over injustice, heartache, unsatisfied longings and the brokenness of the world in which they lived. Our summer sermon series begins this week with Nehemiah and ends in mid-September with the intimate prayers of Jesus with his Father. And each month we will have a church-wide prayer vigil—to help us lean in and offer our prayers together to the God who hears. Come Lord Jesus.
 
Grace and peace,

Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation

From Ruth Haley Barton, Transforming Center:

One of the strangest moments in the disciples’ life with Jesus might have been that conversation where he is trying to talk to them about his impending death (John 9) and then says, “It is to your advantage that I go away.”  At that moment I’m sure they could not have imagined how that could possibly be true.  To them, the physical presence of Jesus right there with them had been their greatest good; but they would soon learn differently. For us as Christians, one of the most confounding things about this pandemic is the need to practice social distancing and almost complete withdrawal into our own homes.  And yet, to refrain from gathering and hugging and passing the peace and ministering with the sign of the cross goes against everything we know and practice. The cancellation of group gatherings where we can be physically, emotionally and spiritually present with one another along with being prohibited from participating in our normal in-person connections with family and friends is excruciatingly difficult, in part because it feels unloving.  
And that is why this statement from Jesus is oddly helpful and encouraging. It points out that there are moments when it IS loving to “go away”—and clearly this is one of them.  In our current situation, to stay away is as an expression of love and care for others as much (if not more) as it is protection for ourselves; seeing this “staying away” as a loving gesture helps somehow.  Henri Nouwen comments, “In Jesus’ absence a new and more intimate presence became possible, a presence which nurtured and sustained and created the desire to see him again.” 

My guess is that once we make it through this crisis, we will never again take for granted the ability to gather, the privilege of being together body and soul. Our desire to be together again will be strong and sweet and will nurture something new among us.  We know what happened to the disciples after Jesus went away:  his Spirit came to them in a most dramatic way as tongues of fire resting upon their heads in the Upper Room.  Against the backdrop of Jesus’ physical absence, they experienced a new reality—the reality of presence in absence. 
 
So I wonder if this, too, is something God wants to be teaching us—what it means to be present even when we’re absent.  Even as we seek ways of staying connected with those whom God has given us and continue to do ministry in creative and caring ways, we might also trust that absence can foster a different kind of intimacy and presence.  By prayerfully holding those we love in God’s presence even when we can’t be physically present, we might  experience something of what Rosemary Dougherty describes: “In spiritual community, there is a bonding that goes beyond human expectations…At times the strength of spiritual community lies in the love of people who refrain from getting caught in the trap of trying to fix everything for us, who pray for us and allow us the pain of our wilderness and our wants, so that we might become more deeply grounded in God.” 

Grace and peace,

Anita Sorenson
Pastor for Spiritual Formation